{what have we done?}

What a fucking fool he’d been. He should have known better than to let things get this bad. Sure, he’d been hurt, but surely so had Jem. They hadn’t spoken in.. months? He pursed his lips as he thought about it, clutching his rather large paper bag as his slender frame moved down the sidewalk and towards his brother’s home. This wasn’t right. Siblings should never let their relationship get this way.. The dragon sighed and hung his head, staring at his feet. He’d thrown on some black moccasins before he’d left the club. He’d stayed in his hot tiger striped skinnies, of course, and thrown on a loose shirt that hung slightly off of his right shoulder, allowing his tattoo to barely see the light of the moon.

Sure, it was late, but Drake had to earn his keep or he’d lose his apartment over the strip club. Besides, he’d splurged and bought some booze and a messy dinner of chicken wings, potato wedges, and cheesecake. The wing place was one of the only bars open 24/7, and it was pretty good, so he was content. He just hoped that his twin was awake and hungry. Knowing his luck, however, Jem would be out on the town and he’d have to sit on the porch until he got home. He’d already had a long night, so he supposed staying up until sunrise wouldn’t be too killer, but he’d be really sore if he slept there.. Speaking of sore..

Drakiiel grunted and ceased his walking to take a moment to stretch his back. It popped as he extended his neck, causing him to sigh in relief. He could really go for a swim right about now, or a hot shower.. But he needed to focus on the task at hand, and that was mending fences with his brother. He was such a tard for letting himself create the wedge separating them in the first place. It had taken time for him to accept the fact that he was at fault, time that he’d had plenty of what with his attempted suicide and adventures in both heaven and hell. Hell… he was on vacation for a little while. Things were just too heavy for the young man. He needed to take it in doses. Hence why he was here, back in his old hole doing things he shouldn’t have meddled with in the first place.

He shook his head and picked up the pace, wanting to know if he could fix what he’d broken. He’d given up on anything more than brotherly love, as Jem had advised, even though it was the hardest thing he’d ever had to do, and hidden the shards of his heart deep down inside of his chest. His hazel eyes rose, finally, to rest on the mailbox a couple houses down. Grimm, it read. Finally.. The dragon hugged his bag closer and toyed with his lip piercing. The other snakebite had long since been ripped out, leaving the small scar to remind him of… well, abuse. He was trying to break himself out of the chains of bad luck he’d been stuck in. Every guy since he’d dropped women, aside from Jem, Raphael, and Horus, seemed to be a piece of shit that liked to hurt him. He’d dropped out of the game entirely at this point, set on his next fuck being with someone that would be worth any heartache that arose because of it. In other words, all he did was strip, suck, and sleep alone. (lolol.)

Drake turned slowly, finally facing the stairs that led onto Jem’s porch and to his front door. He climbed them with ease, taking a large breath to try and ease his nerves. As if it was a good luck charm, he brought up his fist with ‘love’ tattoed across the knuckles to gently rap against the wood, and a small smile formed on his face. He flipped his bangs to the side, and some of his slightly long hair shifted over his shoulder. C’mon Jem.. Please talk to me..

Though it was late, a young girl was still very much awake within the house. There was no real reason for this, she simply had not been able to sleep. She had grown accustomed to the house, how old and creaky it was, and yet she remained troubled. Forever waiting for the mother that had abandoned her there to return.

There was a knock upon the door, and her heart jumped into her throat. She couldn't leap out of her bed fast enough, as she ran down the hall and towards the front door. The doorknob jiggled as she struggled to unlock it, and finally she managed to swing the door open, hopeful emerald eyes staring upwards at Drake. They saddened visibly, upon realizing that it was not her mother on the other side of the door, but her father. Or was it? It looked like him, but it didn't at the same time. She shied away slightly, attempting to hide behind the door.

Drake had been standing on the front deck, smoking a cigarette, as he no longer smoked inside for the sake of the child, though he heard the tapping upon his front door and hurriedly puffed away the rest of his cigarette and reentered his home in time to hear quick, albeit tiny, footsteps upon the floor. He snorted some, rounding a corner looking rather unamused.

"I've told you before not to answer the door, that's Daddy's job," Jem pointed out to the girl, his own green eyes looking through the door frame and at the man on the other side. He appeared startled, and slowly filled much of the gap between them. "Drake..." He managed to murmur, the name feeling strange as it slid off of his tongue. Truly he had not spoken it in so long, not since...

The older twin swallowed a hard lump in his throat, his eyes slowly trailing along the other man's form, as though to make sure that it was really him.

It seemed like it took forever for the door to open, even though it was only a few seconds. As it shifted he began to exhale, preparing himself for what was to come. At least, he thought he was prepared. He was shocked, to say the least. Instead of his twin, he was greeted by a small child, and he took a moment to wonder if he’d stopped at the wrong house after all. Then he looked into her eyes. They matched Jem’s, and he felt light headed for a minute, but the sight of her uncertain and somewhat scared face pulled him out of it.

Drake hunched over a tad, smiling his sweetest smile. “It’s alright, little one.” he cooed, still in shock. “Where’s your-” his voice wavered as he heard heavier footsteps and he straightened back up. “.. daddy..” His brother looked different now, and it was strange, but it wasn’t bad. “Jemmy, I brought dinner..” He raised the bag just a bit and smiled. His eyes fell to the little girl once more, now showing his confusion, but curiosity shone brighter than anything else.

“I… I’m sorry I didn’t call first.” He bit his bottom lip and stared into Jem’s eyes now.

Jemessis watched his brother for a few long moments, and he released a soft 'heh' of amusement at the name his brother called him. He slowly pulled the door open completely, watching the little girl as she moved to hide behind one of his legs. "C'mon in, Drake," he said, gesturing for his brother to enter with one hand, while the other reached behind himself to pet lightly at his child's head.

"We've a lot of catching up to do," he said, somewhat unnecessarily. He slowly spun around and brought the girl into his arms, where she seemed to feel much safer as she relaxed against his chest, "a lot..." He murmured, watching the little girl for a few moments as she stared up at him. "I suppose you should meet your niece, Kylie. And Kylie, this is my brother. Your uncle Drake."

The little girl stared at the foreign man for a few moments, a slow smile spreading across her face, exposing little fangs on either side of her mouth, "hi..." she managed, clearly shy.

Drake was feeling a bit shy himself, especially with Jemessis’ attention on him. He couldn’t help but think about some of the things they’d been through… they’d done. He needed to get those thoughts out of his head, so when the older twin invited him inside he couldn’t help but feel relieved. He stepped over the threshold, watching the cute scene of father and daughter before him. Drakiiel never would have pictured his big brother as a father..

“We do..” he responded with a nod. He wondered if there were more drastic changes to go with the little girl. Lord, now he felt like even more of an ass for not being around when he might have been needed. His eyes wandered down to his wrists, scars forever reminding him that he wasn’t a good role model and he was lucky Jem didn’t know- at least, he shouldn’t have known anything about it.. He licked his lips and stepped towards the kitchen, wanting to set the bag down.

However Jemessis spoke and he nodded and faced the duo. “Hello, Kylie.. It’s very nice to meet you.” His voice was very calm and sweet, showing that he meant no harm. “She’s a beautiful little girl, Jem. Hard to believe she’s yours.” He winked at her, hoping to ease her out of that shell.

"Heh, you say that now, she's a real little devil when she turns into her dragon form. Which she likes to do randomly in public, don't you, Kylie?" Jemessis asked, leaning down to nuzzle his nose affectionately against hers, a very dragon-like show of love. He paused afterwards, furrowing his brows as he realized how late it was.

The girl, meanwhile, giggled softly in his arms, her mischievous eyes flicking back and forth between the two.

Jem laughed a little, raking one hand through his dark hair. "Go ahead and set up in the kitchen, bro, I've got to put the hatchling back in bed. For the fourth time tonight..." He mumbled, and yet did not seemed bitter about this fact as he tromped through his home, idly stepping over toys and such as he made his way towards the girl's bedroom.

A few minutes passed, during which time Jem finally managed to coax the girl to sleep, before he finally reappeared in the hall, turning on a nightlight and gently closing the bedroom door before waltzing towards the kitchen area.

Drake couldn’t help but chuckle at Jemessis’ words. A little devil, eh? She was definitely a Grimm then. “Aww, well we’ll have to teach her some things, won’t we?” He smiled, though he wasn’t sure why he was feeling motherly towards the little one. Sure, he was pretty feminine, but damn. This was his first time around a child in a long time, so it was just strange, all of it. “Too cute..” he pointed out as the father nuzzled his daughter. It was nice to see Jem this way. It was almost like nothing had even happened… maybe that was for the better.

“Alright… Good night, munchkin.” He waved at her with his fingers, before making his way into the kitchen. It didn’t take long for him to lay the food out along with plates and silverware. The last thing he did was grab two glasses and open up the wine, which was still cold from the store. Drake poured some into both glasses and then he pulled himself up to sit on the counter by the sink, his glass in hand. The younger brother sipped at his drink and stared at the floor, drifting off into his thoughts.

How would he do this? What would he say..? Fuck. He blinked, pulling himself back into the kitchen and taking another drink.

Jemessis slipped quietly into the kitchen, his sparkling eyes upon his twin as he entered. He noted the glass in Drake's hand, and the other that was sitting forgotten, which he slipped his hand around, though he did not hoist it yet to his lips, he simply pulled out a stool and sat at his table, gaze fixated upon his twin.

"I... I really didn't expect to see you of all people standing on the other side of that door," he slowly admitted, taking a little sip of the wine, then began to absently swirl the remaining liquid in his glass, "not that I'm complaining. I'm glad to see that you seem to be doing well..."

He was just in time for Jem it seemed. That made him feel better because he’d hate for anymore awkwardness to be created because of him. The older man was staring at him, he could feel it, but he didn’t stare back just yet.

“I didn’t want to leave our relationship broken..” he pointed out, a hint of sadness forming in his voice. His eyes rose to Jemessis as he continued to speak and he managed a fake smile. It was nice to know that he had a good guise going, but it was far from accurate. “Jem, to be honest I’ve been doing bad. Really bad.. Because I know this was all my fault and I’m so sorry.” He rubbed his temples with his free hand before he eased off of the counter and walked to the table. He sat across from his twin with his wine, taking another drink before mustering a real smile. “I almost thought I had the wrong house.. But her eyes.. she's got your eyes.”

Jem watched his twin take a seat across from him, feeling oddly complete just having the other man around. He frowned when he realized his brother had said that he had not been doing well. "Well, I wasn't really doing so great for a while, myself," he began to say, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand, he looked absently too his food as the scents drifted across his nose.

"Quentin and I didn't work out. I fell back into old habits. Hard drugs. Unsafe sex. No eating. Hardly sleep. Lots of smoking and booze all night long, but..." His voice trailed off. He smiled faintly as his twin mentioned the little girl, that was practically the spitting image of him.

"I suppose she's turned my life upside down," he chuckled a little at the thought, "I have to say, I never thought I'd be the fatherly type, but..." His voice trailed off and he exhaled slightly "Well, I got thrown into it and I had to adjust, for her sake, but I think it's done me more good than her..." He mumbled, staring down into his glass.

He rest his elbows on the table and leaned forward, resting against it with wide, sad eyes. Hearing that Jem had it rough too made him feel even worse, but at the same time he was glad he wasn’t alone. It was reassuring, even though he wished none of it had ever happened. He caught his hand moving, but didn’t stop himself from allowing it to come to a rest on the other man’s hand, which he squeezed affectionately.

“I’m so sorry, Jemmy..” he whispered, staring at his brother’s face. “I.. I’m so bad with words..” He sighed and chewed on his bottom lip. Drake felt like he shouldn’t mention anything about his own current situation, therefore he would mainly listen and apologize for being a horrible brother. Jem… Jem needed someone that was good for him, anyways. Someone that didn’t share the same genes.

“You’re doing a great job, I can see it in just five minutes.. She loves her daddy.” he pointed with a smile. “And you love her, it’s written all over your face.” His hand slowly slid to rest on the table, and he pulled it back towards himself. “I’m proud of you.. You look great..”

Jem smiled a little as his brother squeezed his hand. He extended his thumb, rubbing it along the other male's hand absently. He had to bite back an innuendo, but he soon nodded his head softly.

"Don't worry about it," he assured, then went on to blush a little at his brother's last remarks. His eyes glazed over as he recalled back a couple of months, and he exhaled deeply, "I wasn't so happy to have her, at first. I was real skeptic that she was even mine, in spite of the uncanny resemblance. Her mom kept bringing her around anyways, and then one day... She didn't come back to pick her up..." His voice trailed off, sounding a little sad as he now moved his hand to rake through his hair.

"I remembered how empty everything felt when mom died, but how dad always took care of us and loved us..." He swirled the wine briefly in the glass before taking a sip, "I dunno. It brought out some weir instincts I didn't realize I even had. Heh."

Drake felt his heart skip a beat, and he turned his head away for a moment, fighting the urge to lace his fingers between Jemessis’. Regardless of his months of trying to get over his brother, he still had feelings for him. He couldn’t deny that he loved his twin, and he would never truly be ok after what they’d been through and done together. He would hide his feelings, however, because it was better for Jem. It seemed like he was changing, well, he had changed, and Drake knew that he didn’t need to drag him down anymore.

“Heh, I’ll always worry about it. You’re my big brother..” His gaze returned to Jem’s face just in time to catch the blush and he smiled faintly. That smile vanished as he felt sadness forming in his chest. Being abandoned… it was a horrible thing, especially when it was at the hands of such a prominent figure as the girl’s mother. “Poor thing..” he whispered, hugging himself softly. “I’m glad she has you, Jemessis, because I know she’s in good hands..” He moved his hands onto the table, one bringing his glass to his lips shortly afterwards.

“If the two of you need anything, anything at all, I’ll be there to help you in two shakes..” He smiled once more, though sadness still shone in his beautiful bright eyes.

"Your big, dumb, brother, aye," Jemessis laughed, grabbing the bottle of win and pouring himself a little more wine. He nodded softly as Drake said that the girl was in good hands.

Wordlessly he served himself some of the wings and potato wedges, smiling softly as his brother offered assistance. "Thanks for the offer. I'll probably take you up on it, sometime," he pushed a couple of wedges into his mouth, making a 'mm' sound as he did so.

When he had swallowed, he eyed his brother more closely. "So, what's been happening with you, Drake?" He asked, slowly bringing a chicken wing to his mouth and appearing very canine like as he tore at the meat with his sharp teeth.

“Nah, you’re not dumb, Jem.” he said softly, though he joined in on his twin’s chuckle. “Not all of the time at least~” He stuck his tongue out playfully and then he leaned back against the chair he’d taken. Drake was enjoying this, he’d missed the older man so much, and even just sitting near him made him feel at ease. His eyes fell to rest on the table for a moment and a coy smile formed on his lips.

“Good..” he responded. “Because I want to be involved.. I.. I don’t like being separate from you, and she needs to know that she does have family that cares about her despite her mother...” Drake felt bad for the girl, especially since her mother had left her there. Feeling abandoned, it was really hard, and he wanted to try and make her feel better.

He reached out for a handful of wedges, nibbling on a couple before answering. “Well.. I started working at the strip club again..” he began, looking rather ashamed for a moment. “And I’ve uh.. Well, I took a lot of time to get my head straight.. Even though that doesn’t make much sense.” He sighed and took another bite, shrugging his shoulders.

"Eah, I know I'm dumb. Handsome as the devil, but dumb," he gave a brief wink in return to his brother sticking out his tongue.

He busied himself with the wing as his brother spoke, cleaning the bones rather skillfully before licking his fingers and going for another. He paused as his twin mentioned that he was working at the strip club for the millionth time, and he snorted softly, accidentally breathing a little smoke from his nostrils.

"Old habits die hard," he pointed out, knowing full well how hard it was to break out of the norm. Jem was quiet a few long moments afterwards, his emerald eyes fixated upon Drake.

"Have you ever thought about maybe settling down? I never thought I'd say this, but... It's oddly fulfilling. I mean, it would be nice to have someone to share it with, but... You know me, I've a way of screwing all my relationships up in a heartbeat." He sighed heavily, appearing thoughtful for a few long moments.

"... Is it wrong of my to want to take my daughter to the beach to pick up chicks? Or any dude that would bite..."

Drake chuckled lightly, shaking his head. The devil was attractive, just like his brother- but he shouldn’t have been thinking about that, Christ. “Oh, Jem, you’re still funny as hell..” he teased with a grin. That wink- augh why did he have to do shit like that.

“Yeah.. They do. Unfortunately..” He wiped his hands on a napkin and then rubbed his scarred wrist, staring at Jem as he took his turn to speak. He caught a whiff of the smoke from earlier and exhaled softly, wanting a cig all of a sudden. “I.. I think I’m too unpredictable for most people. That and my track record isn’t so great either.”

He felt pretty down himself- but for various reasons. The thought of settling down made it worse because he was fairly sure that it would never happen. Hell, he wouldn’t know what to do if the opportunity even arose. He wasn’t exactly settle down material, at least he didn’t think he was. Maybe the other person made it bearable. The other person… that he didn’t have either.

“Nah, it might work actually..” he mused. “Maybe you should try going on a date night.. I know a couple places and I can babysit if she likes me enough.” Drake smiled some. “Then again.. A beach trip does sound nice..” He didn't know what to think but he'd like to get the past out of his head. It had been nice but it was over..

"Date night?" Jemessis laughed, raking his fingers through his hair as he continued to chuckle to himself. "I can just imagine that. 'Hi, my name is Jemessis. I am a dragon, and I've spawned an illegitimate dragon-harpy hybrid that I have affectionately nick named a Drapy. I have fucked more men and women than you have met in your life, and I if you're looking for a circus act, you found him!' Right. I don't think meeting random people is going to help." He snickered a little, taking a large gulp of the wine, which caused his cheeks to flush slightly.

The smile soon faded, and his green eyes fell to the table top, his mind spinning a little. "I blame dad, you know..." He mumbled, blinking slowly as he looked around somewhat miserably, "for us. I think sometimes, that maybe if we had more friends we wouldn't be as messed up as we are today. I mean, all we ever had were each other..."

He took a few deep swigs and it became clear that he was somewhat intoxicated, and his rambling only worsened, "I use to imagine running away with you, to some place where no one knew us and we could pretend we weren't twins. We aren't really identical, after all. We look a lot alike, sure, but there are difference, and..." He sighed heavily, slowly pushing himself away from the table, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to blurt all that out at ya, I can't handle liquor again, it seems..."

Drake paused, stared at his twin, and then busted out laughing. What had gotten him was the way Jem said it, the way he said all of it. But then he sighed and hung his head softly. It almost sounded like he was introducing himself at one of those meetings for people that needed help on a higher level.. Shit, he did, and so did the younger twin. “Drapy.. That is pretty cute..” He brought his hand up to rub his chin, toying with his remaining piercing for a moment. He’d grown used to only having one, since it’d been torn out. Drake didn’t catch his brother’s blush until he rose his head, eyes wide from what his brother said.

He.. Didn’t know what to say to that. But it made his heart jump, and his eyes began to water some. He was an overemotional wreck when it came to emotions, especially this kind, with the man before him.

“Oh, Jemmy..” he whispered. “I.. I used to daydream about that, myself.. Amongst other things.” His eyes shut momentarily and he smiled. When they reopened he stared at Jemessis. The green and brown mixture was swimming with emotion. He didn’t know what to do. “It’s ok… I feel better hearing that to be honest. I just.. Uugh. I don’t know what to do anymore.. It took me this long to get my feelings for you in check… to get over-” He glanced at his wrists and hung his head in a shamed manner. “I still love you though. I always will.. I.” Drake sighed and shoved some wedges into his mouth, knowing that he was a fool because he wasn’t even tipsy, yes still he couldn’t shut up.

Jemessis was quiet for a few long moments during which time he moved around the table, so that he was standing behind the sitting Drake. He slowly leaned forwards, wrapping his arms around his twin and resting his cheek gently on top of the man's head. "I love you, too," he whispered, cradling his brother for a few long moments before he noticed something.

Slowly, one strong arm moved to grasp at Drake's, and he twisted it carefully, until he could fully see the scar on the man's wrist. "Drake..." He murmured sadly, hugging his brother tighter with the one arm that was around him. "Why would you do such a thing?" He asked, lightly kissing the top of his brother's head as he waited for a response.

Drake exhaled, relaxing as he felt the warmth of his brother’s embrace. He’d missed the feeling, the comfort, and the closeness. He tilted his head to the side, snuggling gently into Jem. “Good..” he whispered, those words filling him with hope. He’d never truly be over it. Never. No matter what he did, no matter how hard he fought it, Jemessis would always be the only man he could rely on. The only man that… well, completed him. Heh.

His happiness faded as his wrist was grabbed. He struggled with the urge to pull it away, and in the end, it was too late to make an attempt anyways. Drake had been found out and a soft whimper slipped out of his mouth. “B.. because I didn’t know what to do..” he murmured, bringing his other hand up to rub an eye. “I don’t handle loss well, and that night… it just hurt so bad.. You’re my brother and the man I love- double the ache for a puss like me..” He bit his bottom lip and tilted back into Jem, eyes watering away.

"Ah, Drake, but you should know after all these years, that you'll never lose me," Jemessis whispered, hugging his younger brother a little tighter as he did so. He nuzzled at his brother's head, slowly bringing up his hands to wipe gently at Drake's watering eyes. He loved his twin very much, he just handled not being able to be with him better than Drake. It's not that what happened hadn't hurt him, he just had different ways of destroying himself.

"I'll always be here for you, if you just let me do that," he whispered, a more dragonic urge coming over him as his tongue slipped past his lips and gently licked at his brother's cheek.

“I do… it’s just, for some reason I always have to beat the shit out of myself.. Expect the worst, regardless of what the facts are..” He settled against Jem’s body, slowly bringing his arms up to return the hug in a needy manner. The feel of his twin’s warmth, of his nuzzles and his hands on his face, was enough to make him relax. At the same time, he was starting to feel it again. The old urges were coming back to him. His lips parted and he exhaled softly, trying to fight his feelings off. He wanted what they’d had to resurface.. But it wasn’t good for them. There was only so much that Drake could take.

“You… p-promise?” he whispered. His eyes widened some as he was licked, but he leaned into it, biting his bottom lip. Before he could stop himself his hands were cupping his twin’s face. He gently turned Jem’s head and locked onto his mouth, kissing softly at first. It wasn’t s long kiss, but it was very loving and as Drake stopped he ran his tongue over his brother’s lips. “.. I can’t quit you, Jemessis..” His hands fell to Jem’s chest, balling into tight fists.